Big John Bates & the Voodoo Dollz Blog

Wow. I can’t really use the excuse I’ve been recovering from tour/festival/insert life-consuming event here… Truth is I’ve been going to a lot of dance classes, shows, and enjoying the fruits of my travel with friends.  It’s been a very good start to the summer season so far. I had fully prepared to take the summer off from band stuff and using it to work on other projects. However, life does tend to take  dim view to us being captains of our own fate too often, and promply smacked me a contradicting hand.

So, now I’ve seen we’re doing many shows through the summer and then embarking on a three month world tour. I’m using this as an oppertunity to torture the world with my newly honed magic arts and also to test the waters in a new stage show format. We’ll see how it all goes. Now that Brandy is FINALLY out of school (Forensic Anthropology – a few light studies) we can build more and more.

But I’ve posted the dates that are confirmed and event invitations to the Big John Bates and the Voodoo Dollz group on Facebook, so now people can invite their friends. What can I say? I’m lazy and I’ll let social networking websites do the promo for me….

Anyways, I will write a proper post later, possibly even tonight. But in case anyone was wondering, I’m not dead yet.

xo

Little Miss Risk

(I swear I’ll write a really, real blog tomorrow, when I’ve some time. For now here’s an lowdown on our low brow…)

What, oh what, have Big John Bates and the Voodoo Dollz been up to since recovering since their spring tour? Now that daggers are no longer drawn and held to one another’s throats, we have some spiffy news…

The new Voodoo Ball DVD is currently getting cut, under the knife, and we’re planning the next shoot for the next Big John Bates music videos for Keyhole Lens Revue, Hardline, and Bikini Falls! Stay tuned for the best music videos that you’ll NEVER see on MuchMusic!

SUMMER 2010 DATES:

Jun 18 – TBA
Jun 19 – Portland, OR @ ROSE CITY ROUNDUP FESTIVAL

Jun 25 – Walla Walla, WA @ Charles Smith Wines

Jul 03 – TBA
Jul 04 – Seattle, WA @ Motor
Jul 06 – Spokane, WA @ Mooty’s
Jul 07 – Invemere, BC @ Bud’s
Jul 08 – Nelson, BC @ Finley’s
Jul 09 – Penticton @ Voodoo Lounge
Jul 10 – BC @ TBA
Jul 11 – Whistler @ Garfinkle’s

Jul 29 – BC @ TBA
Jul 30 – AB @ TBA
Jul 31 – Driftpile, AB @ NORTH COUNTRY STOMP – LSLNCCA Land
Aug 01 – Revelstoke @ TBA
Aug 03 – BC @ TBA
Aug 04 – Elkford, BC
Aug 05 – Salmo, BC @ SHAMBALA FESTIVAL – Rock Pit Stage
Aug 06 – Golden, BC @ Rockwater
Aug 07 – Banff, AB @ Wild Bill’s
Aug 08 – Canmore, AB @ TBA

2010 FALL TOUR:

USA – Sept 7 to Oct 2
EU – Oct 7 to Nov 20
CAN – Nov 25 to Dec 11

For more info check out http://www.bigjohnbates.com/tourdate.html

Be sure to keep up with all the online hijinx and our upcoming US tour at http://www.bigjohnbates.com/, and our tour blog (featured on Exclaim! and www.bbad.com)

MySpace: (http://www.myspace.com/bigjohnbatesandthevoodoodollz)

Facebook: (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=24437548352)

Twitter: (http://twitter.com/bigjohnbates)
(http://twitter.com/littlemissrisk)

Keep checking our website for new items at http://www.bigjohnbates.com/

Hugs and hisses,
Little Miss Risk

PS: I’ll be uploading some videos and tour photos tomorrow. Swear on the head of my neighbor’s cat in heat.

SO…

It’s been a sufficient time since the end of the last tour and now the end of the 5th Annual Vancouver International Burlesque Festival that I can start to function like a human being again and not the sparkle-driven whiskey-fuelled zombie I was. Who had great lashes. I think that after the Friday Sweet Soul show, when the lovely Evilyn assisted me with my magic act and having  some twelve ounces of glitter dumped onto me and  then find it’s way into EVERY possible orifice on me (and apparently every crevice at the Rickshaw theatre which hosted the event) I have officially hit glitter rehab.

In order to combat this though, I’m getting back on the BJB horse again, dragging Bloody Betty out for some shows with me. It will be refreshing to do the BJB numbers again, even though after the last tour I had to go mute for awhile. When anyone asked me about tour I got this weird rictus on my face and told them it was too soon to discuss it. It sort of felt like a war and that I couldn’t really talk about it. I still can’t, come to that. All I will say is despite the fact that everyone came perilously closes to dying at everyone else’s hands at lest twice in eight weeks, our body count remains at zero. But with the support of family and friends, I am coming around and I no long wake up having nightmares of being back in the Murderbus.

Some cool news, though. The Burlesque Hall Of Fame weekend in Las Vegas will have a large number of Vancouver performers representing there: Both Sweet Soul Burlesque and Screaming Chicken are up for Best Troupe and former Voodoo Dollz Burgundy Brixx, Lola Frost and Cherry On Top are up for Best Debut.  I would say congrats, but I won’t lie, it definitely makes our band look good (any myself exceptionally proud) to have had these amazing performers tour with us. It’s also interesting to note that Jay Z wants Rihanna to be the face of a chain of ‘burlesque clubs’ he’s looking to invest in. I’m guessing this will more than likely be a Pussycat Dolls-like school of burlesque and nothing that is either true to the old glamour or the avante guard performance art. But instead of getting mad about the idea, I think about this instead and smile. If this past tour and weekend were anything to go by, DIY artists who can pull out amazing shows out of nothingness, and legends like Judith Stein will help keep the art strong.

Worse comes to worse, if these clubs open then it may make air humping, crawling on hands and knees, and chair grinding socially acceptable when my peers have too much to drink (or too much glitter in their systems).

Now, to get dolled up and meet the boys to watch the Canucks game. Here’s hoping Chicago’s ass gets a spanking!

Mwuah!

Little Miss Risk

I’m back online and no longer hiding in my room. For someone who spent eight weeks in a bus I came home and became completely agoraphobic, leaving my house only to buy groceries and attend yoga classes. I broke my fast of being a hermit last night by hosting the House Of A 1000 Corpses/ Prince Of Darkness double bill with Bloody Betty. I woke this morning covered in fake blood. There is something to be said for waking up sticky and alone as a character builder.

While reviewing world events on CBC I also noticed that Mr.Bret Michaels suffered a brain hemorrhage. The full story is here. Got me asking the question: after three seasons of Rock Of Love, The Apprentice, and a career out of Poison, they only pick up on the brain stem issues NOW? I attributed most of those fashion statements to far worse cerebral problems.

Just kidding, Bret. Get well soon, or the strippers will start to cry.

Little Miss Risk

I’ve been listening to way too much rockabilly music. Way too much, for seven years. With this over-staturation of swing beats on upright and classic hollowbody guitar sound how the heck could this epiphany snuck by me for so long? I’m just wondering… has anyone else noticed something inherently creepy regarding the theme of rockabilly music? If you overlook the recurring theme of hotrods, guitars, and flames the next predominantly is young or teenage girls.

Note: You can pretty much substitute “guitars” for “zombies” and you have psychobilly music as far as I am concerned.

But I digress. I was wondering what it was about the whole shebang that I was finding distasteful but then it hit me…

When Brian Setzer was in the Stray Cats and singing about her being ‘sexy and seventeen’, he wasn’t much older. Now to hear older rockabilly guys in their forties covering the same thing (without the distinction of ever actually being Brian Setzer) it just makes my skin kind of crawl. Then there was the Chuck Berry incident, which proved he had a little bit of a problem saying no to the jailbait, and there presents a bit of an issue.  So – is there a link between rockabilly and some kind of creepy pedophilia?

Now granted when most of these songs were written, these rock and roll guys weren’t living much past their early 20′s. It was if some kind of internal trauma magnet was implanted on them once they has signed with their label so they didn’t make it past 25 – car accidents, plane crashes, gun fights – these guys were on borrowed time. So it stands to reason that their fans could be the underage girls of their dreams because they didn’t get a chance to grow into old, lecherous musicians. But would the mature musician, having grown to ripe middle years would change the lyrics to reflect his aging audience and embracing them? Or would he just be getting guys to round up girls after the show and making sure whatever ID they swiped at least listed them as at the age of consent?

Either way, I’m hoping rockabilly musicians will recognize the gap here and be inclusive of their older female audience. After all, they are the ones with the most buying power, have better hot rods than you, and can buy you liquor, guys. Not the other way around. If someone pens a song  called “Rockabilly Kitten Is A Cougar” about how the hot lil’ rock and roll kitten grew up to be the hottest cougar, I will personally give them commendations and a bottle of Jagermeister.

Go forth, and be inclusive. And always ask to see a birth certificate if you think she might land you in jail…

Little Miss Risk

After five weeks in the USA, I’ve dodged the free-pour at bars, memorized the menu for Cracker Barrel, and marvelled at the wonder of American candy bars and food stuffs (I’m still puzzled by Moon Pies, however). It is with some relief I’ve returned to Canada, though I’m as far from home as I was anywhere in continental United States. But on my morning run seeing Shopper Drug Marts and Tim Hortons I felt comforted, somewhat. It was while I was passing my third Timmy Ho’s that my mind started to wander (as it does these days) about how the mechanics of my mind enjoy burlesque and all that they entail. I was able to come up with the following reasons….

Little Miss Risk’s Reasons I Love Burlesque

Fringe. All the best things have fringe – benefits, lunatics and panties. From my experience as a child where I was mildly obsessed with a family friend’s lampshades that sported fringe (but was forbidden to touch) the seed got planted in my fertile little brain about the exoticness of fringe. Now I am equally enchanted with fringe as an adult but I prefer it on panties or bras to housewares.

Nudity. I enjoy seeing my friends naked on a regular basis. This is one of those fringe benefits I was referring to above. I usually have a curiosity of what people look like naked and I have the privilege of having a lot of attractive friends. I half suspect part of the reason that I got into burlesque in the first place is to get an eyeful. Yes, I know, I’m a pervert, but your not telling me anything I’m not already acquainted with. This is also part of the reason I hang out and Sin City fetish night too – attractive partially naked people is something I like a LOT.

Nudity. Or, to be more specific, my own. People may not be as interested seeing my sport my birthday suit in m autumn years, but I have no issues doing so now. Burlesque is a good reason as any to flaunt it, and a captive audience is always a bonus. Not that we ever get down fully nude – that would be boring – but it revives people’s atrophied imaginations after living in an MTV society where your overloaded by overt sexuality. Besides, it takes a lot to be 3/4 nude and put out subtle sexuality.

The Gear. Corsets, stockings, high heels, copious amounts of make up… unless your a woman of leisure, your probably not going to do your day to day business in full drag every day of your life. Dita can pull it off, and so can Dolly Parton. Are you really going to wear fake lashes on your way to yoga? I tried… it’s hard. But living in the darkened nightclub light that is the natural habitat of burlesque dancers and their ilk, we can layer it on, cinch it in, and vamp it up. No one mistakes you for a common (or uncommon) streetwalker and your creativity with your appearance is celebrated, not shunned. For the record, power yoga is uncomfortable with fake lashes, FYI. I did it so you don’t have to.

The People. I had mentioned above that nudity is a big part of why I like burlesque. I am very much in favor of minimal clothing. Believe it or not, there are other people who like seeing people where minimal clothing too. I find that meeting people who have seen you mostly naked is a surprisingly enjoyable experience. No more will you wonder if they are actually paying attention to what your talking about or if they are picturing you naked. Now you KNOW they are picturing you naked but they have a good visual reference to go with and now they may even pay better attention to what your saying. They just know what you look like naked when your saying it.

There are dozens more reasons, but honestly, I think these are the main ones that spring to mind. Superficial? Shallow? Maybe. But no one can accuse me of not being honest. With all this in mind though, I’m going to get ready for our Ottawa show tonight and put all these things into practice, hopefully in other people’s minds. See you at Maverick’s tonight, kids!

xoxox

Little Miss Risk

Okay, so I’m doing the continuation of fast food franchises and their resemblances to certain musical genres. Since I’m waiting for the rest of the BJB crew and the Reverend Deadeye to rouse themselves into a resemblance of awareness (or five minutes before Nicky Ninedoors kicks in BJB’s door and commandeers the jacuzzi tub and all hell breaks loose) I figured I’d eat some time doing this. Besides I have eaten way too much of this junk on tour already and this is kind of my literary bowel cleanse in lieu of an actual one….

Tim Hortons – (region specific) Canadian Rock

I was going to put this under ‘Canadian music” but then people would think Nickelback (shudder), Rush, Celine Dion and Michael Buble. This is slightly more specific and pertains to The Tragically Hip, Sloan, Hawksley Workman, etc. Basically Tim Hortons is a donut shop, started by the hockey player of the same name. Over the years they have have spread across Canada like acne across a greasy freshman’s face. But like Canadian Rock bands mentioned above, Tim Hortons and CBC you can perform a magic trick: cross the boarder into the USA and watch them magically disappear! Why is this? I’m not really sure. In Toronto The Tragically Hip can sell out huge venues but mention their name in, say, South Carolina and you get someone frowning and asking, “Who?” The fact is, outside of Canada nobody cares. Except other Canadians outside of Canada. It’s an interesting kind of ex-pat mentality that takes effect… no matter how much you hate them in your own country you find yourself talking about them to other Canadians when abroad. Weird. About as weird as my craving for a double-double and a maple dip at the present….

Burger King – Hip Hop

Like the musical genre of hip hop, BK has lost it’s way somewhat and is clouded. Overshadowed by gangster rap, legit hip hop gets stuffed behind misogynistic and materialistic BS. Poor Burger King is the same; delicious menu items offered in the European Burger Kings have yet to find their way across the pond. They just don’t fly in North America because the demand for mediocre fare accompanied by toxic plastic toys is too great. That’s the problem with western culture – it doesn’t know what’s good for it.

And now back to tour talk. We still have some USA dates as we leave Florida and make out way north and eventually back into Canada. We also have some summer dates to announce as well. Tell your friends…

Mar 30 – Charleston, SC @ Tin Roof
Mar 31 – Charlotte, NC @ Snug Harbour
Apr 01 – Richmond, VA @ Playing Field
Apr 02 – Morgantown, WV @ 123 Pleasant Street
Apr 03 – Lafayette, IN @ Lafayette Brewing Co
Apr 04 – Cleveland, OH @ Now That’s Class

SPRING 2010 CANADIAN DATES w/ local support:

Apr 05 – London, ON @ Call The Office
Apr 07 – Ottawa, ON @ Mavericks
Apr 08 – Montreal, QC @ The Green Room
Apr 09 – Toronto, ON @ The Horseshoe + White Cowbell
Apr 10 – Thunder Bay, ON @ Black Pirates Pub
Apr 12 – Winnipeg, MB @ The Pyramid
Apr 13 – Regina, SK @ The Gaslight
Apr 14 – Lethbridge, AB @ Henotic
Apr 15 – Edmonton, AB @ New City Suburbs
Apr 16 – Calgary, AB @ The Distillery
Apr 17 – Kelowna, BC @ Doc’s
Apr 18 – Kamloops, BC @ Dirty Jersey

SUMMER 2010 DATES:

May 14 – TBC
May 15 – Silverdale, WA @ Pinup Bizarre Kustom Kulture Festival
May 20 – TBC

Jun 18 – Bellingham, WA @ TBC
Jun 19 – Portland, OR @ ROSE CITY ROUNDUP FESTIVAL

Jul 04 – Seattle, WA @ Motor
Jul 06 – Spokane, WA @ Mooty’s

Hugs and hisses,

Little Miss Risk

1. Load whiskey into water guns.

2. Have Voodoo Dollz shootout on Daytona Beach in vintage bikinis.

3. Drink the ammo.

4. Play show in Delan at Da Vinci’s and then play with the bats after.

Little Miss Risk

PS: Also if you go to our website at http://www.bigjohnbates.com you can download Big John Bates ringtones for your iPhone. Just in time for spring break!

Hmm. Where did I put my soapbox? It’s been awhile since I’ve been up on it and I was beginning to think I’d misplaced it. Luckily, for you all, I’ve found it. While the Reverend Deadeye was getting his head looked at by a doctor for an ear infection, Nicky Ninedoors and I slipped off to the local drug store in search of skincare products and vitamins. As I’ve been deficient in printed hype, I also picked up the April issue of Glamour magazine. The cover featured an actress I vaguely recognized from Mean Girls (but can’t name) and an article from each of the seven women’s mags literary food groups: Sex, style, diets, celebs, human interests, fiscal solvency and sex.

Because my habitats these days consist of stage/clubs, Murderbus interiors/gas stations, Motel 6/internet I am no longer au fait with magazines as I once was. Also, not having much disposable income limits how much money your going to spend on magazines, especially the really awesome European fashion and fetish ones that require a serious capital outlay. Not to mention that trying to find recycling on the road is really hard at gas stations in the USA. It’s pretty atrocious, actually. Note: When the Americans are armpit deep in their own waste, dont’ point and laugh – show them kindness by giving them a reusable shopping bag and how to recycle in places outside of major metropolitan cities. But with all these factors afoot, I felt it necessary to give my brain some cultural junk food, as it were. But the whole affair left me confused much the same way chocolate covered pretzels do (which by the way, should have never made it out of a production meeting. Now the debate on whether they are brilliant or retarded will continue to rage on.)

For every article that is meant to promote higher self esteem and awareness there are advertisements sneakily made to look like legit articles but their tips on style and fashion contradict the editorials. Okay, I get it – the editorials are meant to be the fantasy dress ups, but geez, don’t tell me not to be heavy-handed with blush then show a spread with hot Geisha make up that looks like it was applied with an air brush. For the record – I prefer the racing stripes look and I am no afraid to amp it up. To be fair to Glamour, the actual legit articles were good. But I felt like the same rehashed topics haunt issue after issue and once in awhile I’d like them to toss in something random and awesome – how to cheat at Tekken, hotwire a car, and change the fluids in your own car. Something that doesn’t pertain to sex, fashion, or dieting. They can be sneaky about it if they want – “Change Your Own Tires To Get More Sex!” or “Tekken Cheating Tips For Hotter Sex!”. You get the idea.

But then again, if I want substance, I can always just read a book, too.

Little Miss Risk

Okay, so there are some dangers of eating road food. While I’m the first to boast I’ll eat anything, often times my stomach will reject it after the bravado of my mouth. Eating on the road offers a bevy of possibilities, most of them fast food related. I don’t care for fast food much, being someone who enjoys cooking (and enthusiastically waving a tea towel under the smoke alarm) and eating good food. It’s almost always disappointing and leaves you feeling a little dirty afterwards, like watching a pornographic movie you had high hopes for and then getting a rather abrupt reality check.

In my constant efforts to alleviate the boredom of the long drives between shows, BJB and I sat down and tried to figure out the correlation between fast food restaurants and musical genres. These are the things you do on the road. Really. So without further ado, here are our results…

McDonalds – Pop/ Top 40

The obvious choice. The unavoidable. Because no matter who you are, your age, income bracket, sexual preference, etc, at some point in your life you will get this crap stuck in your system. Whether it is Britney Spears or a Big Mac that shit is going to be lodged in you and carried around for a decade.

KFC – Country/ Southern Rock

Because no matter how region proud you may be this will kill you – whether it’s the violent green of the radioactive coleslaw or a near fatal argument about what Skynard song is the best. And you can kind of tell from the self-satisfied smirk of the Cornel that he is listening to Hank Williams while his wares pick off Yankees one by one.

Wendy’s – Classic Rock

Wendy’s want to be your mom. Like the contemporary cougars from small towns who crank Journey, they will offer all forms of familiar comfort (Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Seger, baked potatoes, burgers and chili) They want to rock out – they really do. It’s just the dated concept of what constitutes ‘rocking out’ that is holding them back.

Subway – Adult Male Contemporary… zzzz

What do Subway, Jack Johnson, and John Mayer all have in common? You may think they are good for you, but really they’re crap.

Next! Part two… Burger King and Hip Hop and Pizza Hut and Punk.

Little Miss Risk